Sunday, 21 March 2010

  •  Things constantly come to our lives and go, some of them I abhor and some I admire.
    aIMG_0801

    The lighthouse in Racine Wisconsin on 02.09.09
    I like finding it easy to working hard working late, time flies faster than I could comprehend and I hate finding myself thinking that was totally normal and acceptable.

    I like the compensatory excessive sleep in the weekends and I hate the period of time in Saturday late afternoons after I wake up and before caffeine functions yet again in my body.

    I hate canning into the MTR and then the elevator each day; I hate their space-less-ness.

    I like the occasion 9pm and 10pm when I find myself in the same spot in the Admiralty MTR Station, facing the same Canon Lightbox Advertisement and I hate the uncertainty whether I would do the same the next day or grab a cap home after midnight late. And I hate to know how massive the difference was to get off work at 11pm vs 1am.

    I like writing and posting letters and images but I hate that it seems I was disclosing too much of me and some people would advise not to do it.

    I like the fact I finally have time to do lunch/dinner with friends, getting on MSN and Gmail and say hi to friends, and I hate the pause ceasing contact with my amazing friends, and feeling dumb, missing words, staying quiet due to under-sleep.

    I like the soccer game each week, and I hate to realize that my stamina drained further as the season goes on. I hate to miss my fitness just about a year ago, I would still hunger for running after an entire 90-minutes game.

    I like the moment I sip some cream soda after the 90 minutes game, without regret.
    I like the news that the temperature would drop again next week, and I hope we could stay chill for a longer time.

    I like Sean Kingston's "Take you there", but I admire and just love "Calendar Girls" by Stars; I hate I couldn't stop listening to it these few months. "Stay alive."

    I hate feeling dumb each day, I hate the rate time pass faster than I could realize and respond. I hate the hurting neck. I hate the mess-up of biological clock as now it was 5:39am.

    I hate finding myself parted farther and farther from the great time I had in SPCC and Wisconsin-Madison; I like to find the tiny spark of hope that I could have those great time in college yet again.

    I sense the power of time and change; I halt the typing, mute the music, and I uttered a short prayer.

    I hate to be reminded once again that I myself was not in charge of things; it's not up to me. I hate stepping out of my comfort zone. It was never easy to give up things seemed to be granted for us. Bank balances, short-term investments, cash on hand, degree, knowledge, skills, health, friendships, relationships; tangibles and intangibles. Either we give them up to God, or God take them back in His way. It was never easy. Yet, I love the fact that there is still room in time we could talk about this.

Monday, 10 November 2008

  • Shrewdness, Wisdom and Faith

    Reflections on the Parable of Shrewd Steward (Mark 16:1-14)

    If not misconstrued, the parable goes briefly as follows. A steward was accused of lavishing his master's properties and was held unaccountable; knowing that he was going to be fired, he called upon his master's debtors one by one and wrote off a significant portion of their receivables in front of them. His intention was to do these debtors a favor and gain friends with his Master's assets.

    Never approved of the faithless steward's dishonesty, Jesus commended the steward's shrewdness (v.8), and told us to gain friends and receive eternal rewards with earthly possessions (v.9).

    How then, does the faithless steward's misappropriation of assets have to do with Jesus' heavenly teachings?

    IMG_8878
    Photo taken from Rocky Mountains NP, CO during May.
    "For every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills.
    I know every bird in the mountains, and the creatures of the field are mine." (Psalms 50:10-11)

    During the Bible Study last week I questioned that whether that "shrewdness" would be neutral or negative as compared with wisdom. I was wrong- that shrewdness, though not as precious as wisdom, was encouraged by Jesus.

    Shrewdness, an earthly virtue, was discussed only about four times in the Bible. In David's Psalm (2 Samuel 22:27, Psalms 18:26) we read that "To the pure you show yourself pure, but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd." And Jesus told us to be "as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves" for we are like "sheep among wolves" in this world (Matthew 10:16). It is hard, but we Christians have got to think quickly enough and are flexible to deal with the wolf-like earthly traps.

    If shrewdness was a hard virtue to achieve, heavenly wisdom was even harder. Solomon did not exactly asked for "wisdom" as in the Chinese translation, but for a "discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong." (1 Kings 3:9) What I get from Solomon's prayer is that to be wise, one has to recognize (1) that all things belongs to God, that Solomon realize that the citizens of his kingdom were not "his" but "yours (God's)"; (2) that wisdom itself does come from God, that right and wrong has nothing to do with our judgment but is solely determined by God. In other words, to be wise one ought to see things not of the earthly means but see things the way which God sees them.

    And indeed there are a great difference between God's way of seeing things and the world's way of seeing things. Going back to the parable, "What is highly valued among men is detestable in God's sight." (V.15) It is easy to say that we should give up earthly resources to God, like money, time, energy and fame, but it's really hard to do so. We need faith to walk with God. Faith enables us to become "sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." (Hebrews 11:1)

    Jesus told us to use worldly wealth to gain friends for ourselves, just like the way the faithless steward sent out money to the debtors. I see various reasons of this teaching:

    (1) Earthly resources will fail us, friendships are more precious- this is an earthly, yet true teaching. The shrewd steward knew this well. Those financial belongings were not yours until the moment you spend it. Cash on hand or in bank that you never spent before you die are not valuable. Financial Securities could lose half their market value overnight. Not to mention Lehman bonds. Friendship, on the other hand, could not be capitalized in any accounting standards but could even grant more economical benefits to you. "Cast our bread upon the waters, for you will find it after many days. Give a portion to seven, or even to eight, for you know not what evil may happen on earth." (Ecclesiastes 11:1-2) One ought to be shrewd to learn this.

    (2) We ought not to love money or other earthly resources. "No servant can serve two masters… You cannot serve both God and money." (v.13) If one's eyes were not in God but these earthly pleasures and securities, he is serving the Devil and not God. If we are not prepared to give up what we have, we are putting ourselves in dangerous positions to failing God. One ought to be wise to know this difference.

    (3) God has all the earthly resources, and lavishing is possible. God says in Psalm, that "for every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills. I know every bird in the mountains, and the creatures of the field are mine. If I were hungry I would not tell you, for the world is mine, and all that is in it." (Psalms 50:10-12) God is in control on all the earth and we should not be mean to and accumulate money for our own selves but to be willing to spend as much as God give in order to let a sinner repent and be saved. It takes faith to see more than earthly people see and to believe firmly that God is in charge, and that hope is not temporal.

Friday, 18 April 2008

  • 記念我的先祖父

    JCC 17.4.2008

     

    () 從前家中有個暖水壺,也用了二十數年;水壺一直很實用,直到舊了,外殼有點殘破、卻是水松塞先老化,碎開了。

     

    其實在這豐裕的生活中,暖水壺不怎樣昂貴,家中亦有不少其他的暖水壺。一次晚飯後祖父見到這個沒有了水松塞、失去了保溫功用的暖水壺,問我們為何怎麼不補買新的水松塞。

     

    的確,家中也還有其他同樣功用的暖水壺;暖水壺既已用了長時期,我們便把之棄掉了。不料,在一星期後的晚餐裡,祖父卻買了個新的水松塞給替換。

     

    新的水松塞,到最終亦找不著舊的暖水壺瓶。

     

    當時看這件事確是有點不快。不是浪費金錢、不只是不好意思要他白走一趟;那應該出自一種價值觀的矛盾;過往他那一代的亂世,日軍、暴亂、飢餓,食物、物質的價值絕非今日可比。祖父一輩對物品的珍惜實在跟不上今日的貪新忘舊。

     

    () 我對祖父的印象很深。祖父自少便很庝我。一次要帶我到海洋公園,我於一早六時便已起床等候,再興奮的等上了數小時。另一次一早約定了買玩具給我,我等上了十日,十日的倒數間我充滿著期待。

     

    還少時,「幻變奇兵」系列的玩具我儲了不少;那一季樂高玩具的海盜系列也是全部儲齊,甚至那次花了當時七百多元買的那艘大大的海盜船的情景,也是印象深刻。

     

    之後在小學時,一次遷居的關係,約有一個多月由祖父接我放學。放學後他總會帶我到不同的餐室品嚐牛排。那時候我們光顧了港九許多不同的扒房比較過從西營盤至尖沙咀到太子的餐室之分別。祖父總是認得不同地方、知道路怎麼走、記得那裡的餐廳好不好。及後近幾年才知他原來有「的士」的駕駛執照。

     

    他對食物的要求很高、對於不同餐廳總有諸多批評食物質素、服務、但最要緊的還是食物收費合理不合理。自少到大,我們多會於週六日一起聚首吃晚飯,總會有一種矛盾:想試新新的酒樓,卻又對價錢不公或味道不好的酒樓痛加批評。最後,多光顧的酒樓還都是不出那幾家。

    他總慨歎,從前的海鮮沒有現在那樣貴,從前的酒樓亦沒有現在的吝嗇,就如從前的酒家都會給每位客人一小碟豉油。

     

    () 祖父他很重人情。曾祖母的相片,一直掛在房中;及至祖母過身後,他亦將其相片加上在房中以作記念。

     

    其實祖母初進老人院時,他每天也得坐上數少時車程前往探望;是真摰的愛情也好、深厚的感情也好,那段每天由美孚到將軍澳日子他是如此的過。祖母離世後,他有幾晚也是徹夜無眠,想著過去的事。他告訴我,他總勉懷那些艱辛的日子、曾祖母以及他的弟妹。或許人老了,只有望著過去,以及慨歎著身體的衰敗。

     

    但其實幸福的是他臨別時身體也算是不錯、腦筋算很清醒、還能自行走路、吃自己所喜歡吃的;他在家中時亦愛看新聞及電影,尤其因他通英語、看得到西片;我們亦有買一些新的電影給他看。

     

    其實我心目中還是有些電影想跟爺爺分享的;亦沒料到那星期六的感覺平常的一餐晚飯已成我們的最後一餐飯。

     

    在思索著祖父的我,最印象深的是跟他一起訣別祖母時。祖母離去後,祖父還陪我們在世上有三年當近四年的時間。這段沒有了伴侶的日子,我想,祖父大抵其實過得不易。

     

    () 我從不知道祖父怎麼樣處理那個用不著的水松塞。還深深記得他當年接我放學的模樣、以及近這幾年我們參扶著他上酒樓的模樣;我想,我和祖父相似的地方也是放不下那些與親人之間、與往事之間的感情。

Monday, 10 March 2008

  • 江蘇興化的連續廿餘日(1/3)-

    「如線如絲無限恨」

    SL270206 SL270230

    公司客人的大本營位於江蘇省泰州興化市戴南鎮。興化市,在戰國時楚國稱為昭陽。位於江蘇省中部,長江、淮河、東海和京杭大運河之間的裏下河地域內。是當地一座農業大市。

    如果硬要談談這地方之「Selling Point」的話,賣點只有-- 當地是水滸傳的作者施耐庵和著名畫家文人鄭板橋的故鄉。對,賣點,是文化。興化市跟楊州、南京、上海等文化重鎮為鄰。

    「水滸搖籃、板橋故里,江蘇興化。」

    可惜,我在興化的廿來日沒有跟什麼文化相遇。我們渡過了寒冷的年初六、情人節、人日、元宵、我的第七個二月二十九日及回暖了的三月初。或許是我們同事在興化市的廿餘日畢竟沒有一日休息過,我們心目中的興化只有兩支大煙囪、沒邊際的工廠及辦公室。而且,我們的工作當然都是關於數字而非文字。

    市內亦有水鄉的獨特之處,河道縱橫,提供豐富的河鮮外,更是便捷的運輸系統。只是,看到河道上的船兒載得似是過滿的是廢鐵、紙皮時,可算是大刹風景。

    沒有嚐過什麼好茶,只有啤酒、烈酒跟二手煙;以我觀察,市內只有商店、食店、火鍋店,及k房「藍色風暴」。

    不竟也不要說得太負面,酒店「繡園」的亭台、人工池湖柳樹,還是保留了一點點的文化氣息。以致我聯想起鄭板橋的詩、畫、書法。

     

    「勞勞亭畔,被西風一吹,逼成衰柳。

    如線如絲無限恨,和風和煙僝僽*。」

    鄭板橋 念奴嬌 金陵懷古十二首 其六


    (註:僝僽:音纏晝,有折磨、排遣和嗔怪三意。)

    圖(左上) - 繡園(1) - 柳條「如線如絲無限恨」。可惜圖下方那輛汽車大剎風景。及後幾個早上汽車雖駛走了,雪和其意景亦融掉了。圖(右上) - 繡園(2) 臨走時隨便的抓拍。這個月來天色都是這般淡而無味。兩幅相都只是用傻瓜機亂拍。

Friday, 08 February 2008

  • 《魔街理髮師》觀後感

     

    零八年二月七日 

    <>一邊看《魔街理髮師》一邊想,這齣戲的色彩實在豐富得緊。先是倫敦陰霾下的黑、白、恢,加重了藍色之色比而帶點歌德的味道,至到第五首曲目時加入了耀眼悅目剃刀中的銀色;對比到第十三首音樂以後那濃厚艷烈的血紅。當然,幽深的黑色跟萋蒼的白是這齣戲的主調。  <>

    《魔街理髮師》改篇自Broadway音樂劇,角色不太多,劇情簡單而緊湊,沒有悶場。賣點是獨特風格的音樂、美術。  <>工業革命時期的倫敦,大規模製作、場境特技、化妝都來得華麗而自然。一首一首音樂連貫性強,Broadway 音樂,把氣氛帶出來。尤其是看完戲後「煲」soundtrack內每首歌時都能帶出入場時的畫面,大抵以後工幹travel時可以再回味一下。音樂也自然是幽陰詭婉的一派,我特別喜愛soundtrack最後這首歌: 

    Not while I am around

    …No one's gonna hurt you,
    No one's gonna dare.
    Others can desert you,
    Not to worry, whistle, I'll be there.

    Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while,
    But in time...
    Nothing can harm you
    Not while I'm around...

     <>我想,如果有異性給你唱這訣歌,感覺也是滿幸福的。可惜諷的是唱完這歌之後,想要保護的人其實才是惡魔,她其實才是要傷害你的那一位。整套戲的黑色諷刺也不少:Mr. Todd殺人是否必要- 他成魔時的音樂叫「epiphany(頓悟),他是想為家人報仇,但最終卻殺死了家人。亦留意Mr. ToddMs. Lovett死的方式。 

    平衡這深沉是在小山丘大樹下上野餐的一幕。朋友對這開朗鮮明、色差正常的一幕印象很深。女主角的幻想,在沙灘下烈日、英倫海峽旁的一間小屋,一男一女、小孩、教堂的婚禮。但其實那時已為時已晚,於黑夜中,在地窖下已然在做那不見天日的勾當,髒事已停不了,主角已成魔。 

    <>喜好舞台音樂歌舞劇的朋友,當然不能錯過《魔街理髮師》,但老實說這套戲並不適合:  <> 

    <>(1) 自認膽少及易不安的朋友
    銀製的剃刀瞬間如開水喉放開血,雖不太迫真,但配合緊迫的音樂或會叫人掩眼不看。意識也一樣,
    Ms. Lovett的肉批另人聯想到港產恐怖片的叉燒包。  <>

    (2) 對英文會話沒興趣沒要求的朋友
    正因音樂、和其中的歌詞是這齣戲的精髓,光看字幕就沒有什麼意思吧。但對喜愛聽帶口音英語的朋友,就當然不同。筆者始終認為那其中「t」音不發的英語十分得意。  <>

    (3) 傳統的中國人
    畢竟,上映時間正是新年流流,片中這隻血紅色,實非保守派於農曆新年所樂意見的紅色。

     

JoeTheScribe

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    • Name: Joseph
    • Location: Wisconsin, United States
    • Birthday: 4/17/1902
    • Member Since: 3/6/2003

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